How can I live stress-free?

There are always lots of reasons in this world to feel stressed. Stress can come from an anxiety disorder or a traumatic experience. For those sorts of circumstances, a trusted and professional counselor is the best resource to use to walk through and sort out those issues. Stress can also come from acute anxiety, which is when there is a real threat in front of us. Stress and anxiety animate an alert system and defense mechanism that God has given us when there is a real threat, so we have the instincts to get away. This type of anxiety is also called acute anxiety. Healthy acute anxiety can look like when you're hiking through our beautiful Colorado mountains on a trail, and you come around the bend and there's a big snake in the middle of the path. Your acute anxiety sort of spikes and alerts you to stay away from the snake so you don’t get bitten.

However, probably one of the most pervasive and common sources of stress comes from the perception that there is a threat that is real when it’s actually not a real threat at all. This type of stress can quickly lead to a snowball effect of negative feelings and chronic anxiety that keeps minds and hearts racing in unproductive ways. This kind of anxiety is subtle, often goes unnoticed, and can be rooted in earthly concerns.

1. Control (e.g., needing to host the party so it all goes ok, dominating meetings, manipulating others).
2. Perfection (e.g., holding oneself to an impossible standard, being self-critical, having difficulty accepting criticism).
3. Always Having the Answer (e.g., having to know everything, fact-checking, even making up answers when unsure).
4. Always Being There for Others (e.g., being chronically needed by others, over-functioning, with no sense of personal boundaries).
5. Other People's Approval (e.g., being devastated when someone dislikes you, working hard to be impressive, relentlessly searching for external validation).

They represent things we think we need to be okay, but do not actually need.

The two crucial steps are Notice and Name.

• Notice: Become aware of the anxiety earlier, often by recognizing physical symptoms like a spinning mind, a racing heart, or a tightening/clenched body. Noticing also involves recognizing reactive behaviors such as making assumptions, being reactive, or blaming others. This can look like praying to God and asking Him to help you to see these things, instead of focusing on the stress and problem.
• Name: Specifically identify what the anxiety is about by recognizing one or more of the five false needs that are coming to the surface. Part of naming these false needs is asking God what our false needs might be and then changing our prayers and heart posture accordingly. Our prayers change from "God, fix this situation" to "God, help me to release my need to control/find approval." Paul writes in Philippians 4:7 that when we do this, the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.